The Comparison Game

I’m not even going to ask because I know you all have either heard or said the phrase, “the grass is always greener on the other side”. I think this is a mindset we can all fall victim too if we aren’t careful, me included. It's very easy to start thinking that a person's job is better, their house is better, that relationship is more fun, that city/ state/ country does it better. You guys get the point right? ;) I’m bringing this up because it has been on my mind a lot since moving to Portugal. 

Due to social media and the ability to see other locations and people’s experiences while traveling, European life has become very romanticized in the United States. European life puts more importance on community and family, better work-life balance, and an emphasis on slowing down and working to live rather than living to work. I am only speaking from personal experience and from what I have heard from friends, family, and acquaintances but Americans are burnt out. The American dream thrives on over working and over consuming which has created more problems than I can even list. Mental illness, divorce, obesity, domestic abuse, gun violence, and overall unhappiness has been rising for many years and continues to climb. Seeing other parts of the world that value the opposite of “grind culture” has caused older and especially the younger generations to question the direction of the United States. I decided to write this blog because after my first month of living in Portugal I have some new thoughts on the topic.

Before moving I fell into the category of being very thankful to have grown up in the United States but I was also confident Europe was doing things much better. I had visited Europe as a tourist multiple times as well as viewed news on Europe from social media. I could see the life I’d be living if ONLY I lived in Europe somewhere. But now that I’m here I may have changed my mind…

When I am not serving coffee at Picnic I have been getting my favorite iced oat milk caramel latte from the Laundry Lounge while I dry my clothes. Yes, you read that right. Sagres has a “laundry lounge” that also serves breakfast, lunch, dinner, and occasionally has live music. I am very thankful for this place because with the constant rain, humidity, and the lack of my own personal dryer it's nice to have a place to hangout while you do the boring chore of drying your clothes. I have spent a good amount of time here thanks to the record breaking amount of rain in Portugal in March. Who knew I would move during such a beautiful stretch of weather. ;)

Hanging out at the Laundry Lounge frequently has allowed me to build relationships with a lot of the employees. One employee in particular has talked to me quite a bit about my home, why I moved, and vice versa for himself. During one of our conversations he said something that really hit me. I was explaining to him that I love my home, but wanted to see what it would be like to live in a completely new place. He told me that he thought it was odd that so many Americans are trying to leave home yet so many foreigners would love to move there. He also added, “maybe not right now with Trump being president but during different times”. He also talked about how all countries go through ups and downs and how crucial it is to have pride in your nation and home. He said he loves living in Portugal but is so proud of where he comes from and brags about it any chance he gets. He then went back to work and I sat with the conversation we had just had for the remainder of my coffee.

The conversation sparked a lot of ideas. For one, I have only lived in Portugal for one month which has been an incredible experience, but it's not everything social media makes it out to be. Living among locals and actually getting involved in the society allowed me to have a different perspective on the country rather than just the perspective of a tourist. European countries do alot of things differently such as the way they do health care, work, time off, etc. but that also leads to new problems. Every decision leads to a new set of problems. So yes, Portugal has a cheaper public health care system but that also leads to very long wait times and less help. I’m not saying one way is right and one way is wrong. I’m only saying that each decision a country makes leads to different problems and solutions and you can decide which is better. Sagres (the town I am in) is a tourist hotspot for Europeans so I have been able to make friends with people from Germany, The Netherlands, Brazil, and other places. After talking to them it is clear no country is perfect and ups and downs are normal.

 Personally, I think one of the biggest problems with the United States is that there is no longer pride in our nation which leads to corruption, laziness, violence, and dissatisfaction. I think if more people had pride in living in the United States things would naturally begin to improve. I’m not saying this is the only solution as I also understand the other side of the argument. I also think (me included) that we forget about the privilege and convenience that we live with every single day and the fact that we have a passport that allows us to go practically anywhere in the world. This is a privilege that we have always had and take for granted, we need to understand most people do not have this. Even after saying this though I do think the United States needs to fix A LOT, and quickly. I only said what I said because maybe there is a more positive way of fixing the problem? But I do not know much about politics, so I am only sharing ideas. ;) 

In conclusion, most places in the world are beautiful in their own unique way and people should stop playing the comparison game. You never truly know what a place is like until you live there. I can’t even do this with Portugal, I have only lived in one town for 1 month. I also think it is different for everyone and that is completely ok. Personally, moving away for one month taught me that I really value living close to my family and friends but it could teach you something completely different. All I know is I will happily be moving back to be with the people I love the most and then hopefully traveling with them in the future! :)